The Heart of the Independent Woman

Oh, I love being young and single and independent! There is nothing like it.

I love to drive down the highway, hair flowing in the wind, belting at the top of lungs to the windshield before me.

I love to choose what I want to eat, when I want to eat it.

I love to stay up late and sleep in all day and stay in my pajamas as long as I can.

I love to watch what I want, read when I want, and talk on the phone as long and loud as I want.

I love being young and single and independent.

But it can be lonely.

The heart of the independent woman craves adventure and excitement. But as much as it's wonderful to be alone and on your own, it's hard to not share it with someone. And it's not even that she needs a man to share life with. A best friend will do just fine--even better sometimes!!

I love being young and single and independent.

But it can be frustrating.

The heart of the independent woman bursts with dreams. It pushes against the walls of the box the world tries to shove her in. It aches when a dream must be postponed or put aside because money must be made or lessons must be learned or the timing is just not right. And not that everything must be accomplished at once. But it would be nice to at least be working towards one or two.

I LOVE being young and single and independent.

It can be so fulfilling.

The heart of the independent woman has so much potential to love, to empathize, to soothe, and the inspire. She can dream wider and farther than anyone else because in her heart she has seen the world. She can find happiness and contentment in the smallest thing simply because it makes her smile. Nothing holds her back because her heart is always moving forward regardless of the world around her.

The heart of woman is always young and single and independent, regardless of her age, relationship status, or state of being, for the heart of woman has been made with special care and a great capacity for love, vision, and fortitude.

I love being a woman.

Quotes to Live By

Continuous improvement is better than delayed perfection. --Mark Twain

How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world. --Anne Frank

Hope is necessary in every condition. --Samuel Johnson

Everyone is necessarily the hero of his own life story. --John Barth

Only by seeking challenges can we hope to find the best in ourselves. --Robert Rodriguez

Life is just a mirror, and what you see out there, you must first see inside of you. --Wally "Famous" Amos

Imagination is more important than knowledge. --Albert Einstein

Success is getting what you want; happiness is wanting what you get. --Unkown

When you come to a fork in the road, take it. --Yogi Berra

The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing. --Walt Disney

Dream as if you'll live forever; live as if you'll die today. --James Dean

There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. --Edith Wharton

Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off the goal. --Henry Ford

Far and away the best prize that life offers is the chance to work hard at work worth doing. --Theodore Roosevelt.

We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing. --George Bernard Shaw

The best time to make friends is before you need them. --Ethel Barrymore

Always listen to the experts. They'll tell you what can't be done and why. Then do it. --Robert Heinlein

A friend is someone with whom you dare to be yourself. --Frank Crane

The elevator to success is out of order. You'll have to use the stairs...one step at a time. --Joe Girard

To think is easy. To act is hard. But the hardest thing in the world is to act in accordance with your thinking. --Goethe

The key to success is not through achievement, but through enthusiasm. --Malcolm Forbes

The minute you settle for less than you deserve you get even less than you settled for. --Maureen Dowd

The harder you fall, the higher you bounce. --Unknown

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door. --Milton Berle

If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito. --Unknown

Try to learn something about everything and everything about something. --Thomas Huxley

The real leader has no need to lead--he is content to point the way. --Henry Miller

When a defining moment comes along, you define the moment, or the moment defines you. --Kevin Costner

If you can dream it, you can do it! Don't let anything hold you back. --Naomi Pointer

Belle

I want adventure in the great wide somewhere! I want it more than I can tell. And for once, it might be grand to have someone understand, I want so much more than they've got planned.

There MUST be more than this provincial life!!!

I want more. So much more. I want to travel and see the world. I want to explore. I want to perform crazy cool, incredibly interesting, pushing the boundaries works of theatre. I want to share my art with the world. I want to do art for art's sake. I want to make a difference in people's lives.

I want OUT of this little box I feel like I'm being folded into.

Who says I can't just take off and go somewhere?

I want to backpack through Europe and perform on street corners, in cafes, and in random little theatres.

I want to sail on the Mediterranean and marvel at the Eiffel Tower and sleep in a castle and run on top of the Alps.

I want to explore the heart of Africa.

I want to put on a real kimono in Japan.

I want to swim with dolphins.

I want to hold a koala bear.

I want to run and run and run.

I want to dance across the map.

I don't want to be stuck!

I want adventure!

I want to fill albums and albums with photographs.

I want a small group of dear friends to go with me.

I will not be held back.

Now...How do I do it?

Twists and Turns

Life never happens the way you plan it.

The second you think it's working according to your plan is the second the map changes.

The road seems straight and laid out before you.

It's a mirage.

I promise there's a twist, a turn, a bend, a crook, a fork, a detour, a bypass, a crossroad, or even a traffic jam.

I am enchanted by the twists and turns.

Who wants to live a life where every detail is known at the beginning?

There is so much possibility around that bend in the road.

It's mysterious.

Intoxicating.

Fascinating.

What's waiting?

Love?

Opportunity?

Joy?

Heartbreak?

Starvation?

Desperation?

A friend?

Perhaps, like most people, you are afraid to round the corner.

What are you missing out on? Even sorrow brings some reward, some lesson worth learning, some experience worth living.

Perhaps, you cower as far away from the bend as you can.

What are you afraid of? The unknown?

EMBRACE THE UNKNOWN.

THROW OUT THE RULEBOOK!

TEAR UP THE CALENDAR!!

SHRED THE ROAD MAP!!!

Life is unexpected and constantly different.

Life is full of variety. Opportunity. Possibility. Adventure. Excitement.

Try something new.

Go somewhere new.

Meet someone new.

Push the boundaries!

Test the limits!

Break the rules!

And don't be afraid of anything!

There's a whole entire world out there and you have to see it all.

You don't want to come to the end of your life and only know the road you lived on.

Explore what's around the corner! Keep walking to the next turn...through the next turn...onto the next straightaway. Dance to the next bend. Skip around the twist. Choose a path at the fork. Cartwheel down the detour.

Don't stand on the sidelines.

Don't stare behind you and long for what is not yours.

Forget about your past. Your inhibitions. Your obstacles. Your physical, mental, emotional, psychological restraints.

Push ahead.

Keep moving forward.

Don't stop.

So life throws you a curve ball? Hit it as far as you can and then go race to pick it up. Now hit it as far as you can again and run to the next spot it lands. Hit it across the entire globe and don't stop until you've seen it all.

What's holding you back?

Say "Goodbye" to the street where you live.

Say "Hello" to the world out there.

Crumple your "to do" lists.

Burn your five, ten, twenty year plan.

JUST LIVE. AND LIVE ABUNDANTLY. LIVE ADVENTUROUSLY.

And dream bigger.

Fall Break

Isn't it funny how during fall break you suddenly drop all remembrance of your classes and the homework that is soon to be due? I had rehearsal tonight and when I saw my director, I had the sudden fear that hadn't turned something in for his class I am also taking. Fortunately, I didn't miss a deadline, but upon looking at my syllabi for my various classes, I realized that I have some pretty big projects coming up. Good thing I looked!!!

My hair was great today. I really, truly love my hair. Is that bad? It's just the perfect shade of chestnut, at the perfect length, with the perfect amount of layers. No matter what I do to it, it's cute. Today I went for the smooth, long, turned under look. I could see it waving in the wind as I approached glass doors that reflected like mirrors. Someone told me tonight, "Your hair is the most beautiful I've ever seen. I've been meaning to tell you that." Can I help it that I'm proud of my hair? It's really one of the things that I would never change about myself. Hence, why I have never colored it. Why fix what isn't broken? :P

The last two days I've only worked three hours each day. Thursday and Friday will be the same. I kind of like it that way. It's been nice and slow customer-wise, but the drama seems to be building between coworkers. Well, to be more precise, between employees and the invisible boss. You see, our boss works at a different branch, but they call everyday....a couple times a day. And we're not very fond of those phone calls. Granted, I don't really care. It amuses me. But these "older" ladies can't stand being under this seemingly irrational authority. This comes out in little spats between themselves or little "discussions" about our boss and her policies. Like I said, it amuses me. I do wish I had more hours this week because I need the money, but with my schedule I really can't.

Even though it's fall break, I'm taking a week long class for 1 credit (which is not cheap, let me tell you!) and I love it! It's Acting for Musical Theatre and is taught by Jeff Blumenkrantz. He's amazing. Very gay and very brilliant in his field. He seems to know everyone who's anyone in New York and has written a lot of songs and performed a lot. He picked out SUCH a great song for me. I love it. It's called "There's A World Out There" and it's from the newest version of Little Women. He's very encouraging and has great advice. I'm enjoying this class thoroughly. Money well spent.

Rehearsals are going well. I finally feel like I have a place in the department. I know people and they know me. I'm glad I am in such a big cast. It sure helps in the "meeting people" area. I'm excited to see what happens when we are able to get this show on its feet. Having the set, props, and costumes are really going to help me personally since my character is so set, prop, and costume driven. For now it's hard to simply imagine but I'm trying my best.

I've figured out that I can go a little over 300 miles on a full tank of gas which is somewhere around $30-35. Not that bad. It should cost less than $250 for the round trip home for the holidays. Much cheaper than a plane. Much longer than a plane, yes, but I'm excited to make the journey. I think I have enough music to sing to my windshield for 15 hours each way. Optimus Prime is excited about the trip, too.

On a random note, why is breakfast the most important meal of the day? I like to skip it. But lately I've been eating a sort of brunch and have found that I have more energy.

I don't work in the morning. I will either sleep in or wake up at my normal time and then go to the beach. We'll see. I miss the beach. It will probably be that option. :)

It's so green here. It makes me sad. It's October and it's all still green. Yesterday morning I found one of God's kisses for me: a red leaf sitting in on the ground in front of my store. I picked it up and kept it with me all day. How beautiful that God would give me a red leaf when I couldn't even find the tree it came from.

I still really want a guitar. I might snatch one when I go home. Watch out!

I'm Making My Own Life

I am officially making my own life.

I refuse to be stuck in a 9 to 5.

I refuse to let a rejection stop me.

I refuse to be hindered by obstacles.

There is nothing that will get in my way.

I am strong. I am creative. I am powerful. I believe in myself. And I believe in the most Powerful Being there is.

The world is mine to conquer.

I have everything I need to succeed inside of me.

If there are no opportunities, I will create them.

It's my time.

It's my life.

Nothing will hold me back.

I'm dreaming bigger than ever.

And bigger.

I am going to do what I want.

I am going to be what I want.

The world will know who I am.

I will be astonishing.

Get ready.

Here I come.

I Want A Guitar

I'm in grad school. I'm neither a child, nor an adult in the "real world." I have opportunities galore. I just have to take them.

Here are a few of the things I think are feasible to accomplish while balancing grad school, work, and extracurricular activities.

• Learn to play the guitar
• Write two full length plays that challenge church theatre as it is
• Write up to five songs
• Begin writing one or two of the books that are in my heart
• Get involved in a church
• Learn the basics of a foreign language
• Plan a trip abroad
• Pay off some debt
• Exercise regularly
• Audition for MFA programs
• Refine theatrical accents
• Find a way to sell jewelry
• Take up painting and sketching
  
• Consistently journal
• Knit (and finish) a scarf
• Read a few books on my reading list

Hmmm....I think that's good for now. I know there are other goals floating around in my head, but perhaps I shouldn't over extend myself.

Here's hoping I accomplish even a few of the above!!!!