Pot Roast and Nail Polish

How cool is God?

I mean, seriously! I serve a seriously rocking, awesome, totally cool God!

As I sit here eating pot roast, potatoes, carrots, and onions, I just have to giggle my thanks out to God for being such an awesome provider. I'm a grad student and, as is well known, grad students live on a very tight budget. We can't afford pot roast and vegetables. Heck, we're lucky if we get real food, a.k.a. something that isn't frozen or fast. Well, these next two and a half weeks are really especially tight. I am not able to work as many hours as I'd like to because of school commitments, so that leaves me with very small paychecks. Basically, enough for rent and barely enough for gas. And food? What food? I certainly can't afford to eat! Which is where God steps in. God, this awesome Father who provided my family with a miracle deer in '98, who gave us Christmas gifts all those years when we had none, who filled our kitchen to overflowing when we were down to nothing, who housed us when we were displaced, who has simply provided for us over and over again, has been meeting me in my need. I've been eating like a king lately! For real, people have randomly been giving me meals that are far better, more delicious, and certainly more nutritious than any meal I would have bought for myself. And I believe that He is going to continue to provide for me. I have no need to worry what I will eat tomorrow. God is just too cool!

I'm polishing my nails bright red again in preparation for "As You Like It" this weekend. I'm excited to perform again. I truly love performance. But I also love directing. So much. I'm very excited to see what the new semester brings with my theatre ministry internship. SO excited!!!

Perhaps it's the nail polish fumes, perhaps it's the happy little thought in the back of my head, but I am very happy tonight. I am content with my life as it currently is and excited to see what happens. I am so ready to just start pursuing my dreams! I feel like I am going to start on that journey tomorrow when I talk with my pastor about the internship and starting a theatre ministry. How cool! I love it when something you've dreamed of for a long time begins to come true. With so many dreams in my heart, I think I'll be seeing dreams come true for the rest of my life. I can think of a few that I'd like to see come true within the coming year..... :D

I'm so glad I live in a world where dreams come true. I'm looking around my room and the word "dream" is present six times in various signs, posters, and images, while several other dream-like words (believe, live, laugh, love, hope, etc) accompany it as well. There really is nothing stopping me. God has birthed dreams in my heart and He is going to see that they are accomplished--and for His glory, too!

What is God dreaming in your heart today? How is God providing for you today?

Pot roast and nail polish. Seriously, I love my life.

Ode to Mom

Let me start by saying, I miss my mother oh so much.

There's a cheesy little picture frame at work that has a poem that bothers me to no end because it sounds so unfinished, but the sentiment is sweet. Bothered or not, it still gets me every time I see it. It goes:

Even when you're grown up, a mother is always there
To make you smile, help you through, and chase away your fears.
Ever when you're grown up, a mother is still by your side.

It begs to have another line, I know, but I didn't write it. If I did, I would have written something like this:

Harmony
A mother and daughter singing the same song
Two hearts speaking as one
One older, wiser, always tender
One tended, guided, and loved
The notes often change, though the tune stays the same
Seasons shift
Distance drives a wedge
But a mere rest cannot end a song
The melody grows richer
The harmony is sweeter
Age aids beauty
The song goes on
And on
And on forever
Mother and daughter, two hearts always singing the same song

THAT is what I'd put on that picture frame rather than the cheesy little unfinished poem.

I worked for 9 hours today and saw all sorts of people come through my little store. What struck me most was the number of mother-daughter pairs. They were in all different seasons of life. A mother and her 12 year old daughter browsed the Pandora counter. A woman bought her 55+ year old daughter a beautiful ring. A 27 year old and her mom made a quick circuit of the store and breezed out, chatting in hushed tones about the lack of things they wanted there. A spoiled 8 year old got exactly what she wanted, regardless of the price--her mother couldn't stop buying for her. A mother and her teenager giggled excitedly as they registered for the $500 shopping spree, imagining what they'd buy if they won. One woman is due to have her little girl in January.

I loved it. And hated it. Like I said, I miss my mother and they only served to remind me of that. I loved observing them. Each daughter was so like her mother. Half the time they didn't even have to say anything to each other; they just pointed, nudged, nodded, and giggled together, instantly knowing the other's thoughts. Each wanted-needed-the other's opinion and advice in order to make a decision. They relied on each other for joy and shopping expertise. You could see the deep connections that held them together despite the various ages.

Mothers who purposely create these life-lasting bonds are certainly treasures. My life is lacking without my mother by my side, but is fulfilled by knowing she is always there for me--just a phone call (or text!) away!

I love you, Mom!

FAITH

Do you know what???

God is good! He is just so good!

He is faithful to restore my dreams. He is faithful to fill me up with hope. He is faithful to overfill me with joy.

He is the reason I sing.

He is the reason I rock out in my car.

He is the reason I whirl around recklessly in my room.

He is my joy and my salvation!

I am SO in love!

I can't get over how in love with Jesus I am! Like a blushing bride, I am eager to see His face, to hear His voice, to feel His touch. Oh, how my heart longs for Him when I feel distant....when I go on a trip away from Him. But He is always waiting right there when I come back and so often He chases me down and won't let me go away without kissing me one more time...which makes me change my mind and stay close by His side.

I just think He's so awesome! :D

I've been so challenged this week, challenged by circumstances, situations, emotions, etc., but I've been trying to count it all joy....and now, finally, I'm not just "counting it as joy", it IS JOY!!!!

I've been thinking lately about this whole "faith the size of a mustard seed" or "faith like a child" or "faith to move mountains" or "faith to walk on water" or that whole "you will do greater things than I".

Really?? Could I really move a mountain?? Can I really walk on water??? My faith is bigger than a mustard seed---I've seen God do miracles! I know what He's done for me!!! I see His hand in my life all the time. Bigger than a mustard seed. My faith is like a child's! I can't help but smile and even giggle in His presence. I am constantly in awe at what my big God can do. I have faith like a child.

So let's move some mountains! Think I'm kidding?? I most certainly am not!

Hmm....what are the mountains in my life that I want to move?......

Fear of the unknown. Anxiety. Finances.

Mountain of Fear--MOVE!

Mountain of Anxiety--MOVE!

Mountain of Finances--MOVE!

Crash into the sea all of you! Be gone forever!!!!!

Hmmmm....what are the seas that I need to walk over, unhindered by the waves around me?

The future. Stress.

Sea of the Future--I will not slip on your waves!

Sea of Stress--I shall not drown in you!!!

Be prepared to be walked over!

For my God shall supply ALL my needs according to HIS riches and glory through CHRIST JESUS.

This life holds so much more than meets the eye. It's time to claim it in Jesus' name. So many things will try to drag me down. It's time to call out the name of JESUS, to speak PEACE BE STILL in the midst of my storm, and to have the faith of child to KEEP MOVING FORWARD.

It doesn't matter what tomorrow brings. God is faithful.

It doesn't matter that plans fall through. God is faithful.

It doesn't matter that doors slam in my face. God is faithful.

It doesn't matter that doubts try to creep in. GOD IS FAITHFUL.

He is faithful to complete what He has started. Well, He started me 23 years ago and He is finished yet!!!!

God made me with a specific vision in mind. He has a purpose for my life. And I am SO OPEN to His leading. Wherever, whenever, whatever. I mean that with all my heart.

I don't need to be astonishing for the world. I don't need to be astonishing for myself. I don't need to be astonishing for God. But I think I will be astonished when I look back at what God has done with my life.

I have faith because God loves me. I have faith because God has been faithful to me. I have faith because everything within me rejoices when I even THINK about Him.

Faith like a child. Faith like a bride. Faith.

Lord, use your servant, so full of joy, eager to complete your will, loving to sit at your feet, longing for more of you, and faithful to the end.

The Heart of the Independent Woman

Oh, I love being young and single and independent! There is nothing like it.

I love to drive down the highway, hair flowing in the wind, belting at the top of lungs to the windshield before me.

I love to choose what I want to eat, when I want to eat it.

I love to stay up late and sleep in all day and stay in my pajamas as long as I can.

I love to watch what I want, read when I want, and talk on the phone as long and loud as I want.

I love being young and single and independent.

But it can be lonely.

The heart of the independent woman craves adventure and excitement. But as much as it's wonderful to be alone and on your own, it's hard to not share it with someone. And it's not even that she needs a man to share life with. A best friend will do just fine--even better sometimes!!

I love being young and single and independent.

But it can be frustrating.

The heart of the independent woman bursts with dreams. It pushes against the walls of the box the world tries to shove her in. It aches when a dream must be postponed or put aside because money must be made or lessons must be learned or the timing is just not right. And not that everything must be accomplished at once. But it would be nice to at least be working towards one or two.

I LOVE being young and single and independent.

It can be so fulfilling.

The heart of the independent woman has so much potential to love, to empathize, to soothe, and the inspire. She can dream wider and farther than anyone else because in her heart she has seen the world. She can find happiness and contentment in the smallest thing simply because it makes her smile. Nothing holds her back because her heart is always moving forward regardless of the world around her.

The heart of woman is always young and single and independent, regardless of her age, relationship status, or state of being, for the heart of woman has been made with special care and a great capacity for love, vision, and fortitude.

I love being a woman.

Quotes to Live By

Continuous improvement is better than delayed perfection. --Mark Twain

How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world. --Anne Frank

Hope is necessary in every condition. --Samuel Johnson

Everyone is necessarily the hero of his own life story. --John Barth

Only by seeking challenges can we hope to find the best in ourselves. --Robert Rodriguez

Life is just a mirror, and what you see out there, you must first see inside of you. --Wally "Famous" Amos

Imagination is more important than knowledge. --Albert Einstein

Success is getting what you want; happiness is wanting what you get. --Unkown

When you come to a fork in the road, take it. --Yogi Berra

The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing. --Walt Disney

Dream as if you'll live forever; live as if you'll die today. --James Dean

There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. --Edith Wharton

Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off the goal. --Henry Ford

Far and away the best prize that life offers is the chance to work hard at work worth doing. --Theodore Roosevelt.

We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing. --George Bernard Shaw

The best time to make friends is before you need them. --Ethel Barrymore

Always listen to the experts. They'll tell you what can't be done and why. Then do it. --Robert Heinlein

A friend is someone with whom you dare to be yourself. --Frank Crane

The elevator to success is out of order. You'll have to use the stairs...one step at a time. --Joe Girard

To think is easy. To act is hard. But the hardest thing in the world is to act in accordance with your thinking. --Goethe

The key to success is not through achievement, but through enthusiasm. --Malcolm Forbes

The minute you settle for less than you deserve you get even less than you settled for. --Maureen Dowd

The harder you fall, the higher you bounce. --Unknown

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door. --Milton Berle

If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito. --Unknown

Try to learn something about everything and everything about something. --Thomas Huxley

The real leader has no need to lead--he is content to point the way. --Henry Miller

When a defining moment comes along, you define the moment, or the moment defines you. --Kevin Costner

If you can dream it, you can do it! Don't let anything hold you back. --Naomi Pointer

Belle

I want adventure in the great wide somewhere! I want it more than I can tell. And for once, it might be grand to have someone understand, I want so much more than they've got planned.

There MUST be more than this provincial life!!!

I want more. So much more. I want to travel and see the world. I want to explore. I want to perform crazy cool, incredibly interesting, pushing the boundaries works of theatre. I want to share my art with the world. I want to do art for art's sake. I want to make a difference in people's lives.

I want OUT of this little box I feel like I'm being folded into.

Who says I can't just take off and go somewhere?

I want to backpack through Europe and perform on street corners, in cafes, and in random little theatres.

I want to sail on the Mediterranean and marvel at the Eiffel Tower and sleep in a castle and run on top of the Alps.

I want to explore the heart of Africa.

I want to put on a real kimono in Japan.

I want to swim with dolphins.

I want to hold a koala bear.

I want to run and run and run.

I want to dance across the map.

I don't want to be stuck!

I want adventure!

I want to fill albums and albums with photographs.

I want a small group of dear friends to go with me.

I will not be held back.

Now...How do I do it?

Twists and Turns

Life never happens the way you plan it.

The second you think it's working according to your plan is the second the map changes.

The road seems straight and laid out before you.

It's a mirage.

I promise there's a twist, a turn, a bend, a crook, a fork, a detour, a bypass, a crossroad, or even a traffic jam.

I am enchanted by the twists and turns.

Who wants to live a life where every detail is known at the beginning?

There is so much possibility around that bend in the road.

It's mysterious.

Intoxicating.

Fascinating.

What's waiting?

Love?

Opportunity?

Joy?

Heartbreak?

Starvation?

Desperation?

A friend?

Perhaps, like most people, you are afraid to round the corner.

What are you missing out on? Even sorrow brings some reward, some lesson worth learning, some experience worth living.

Perhaps, you cower as far away from the bend as you can.

What are you afraid of? The unknown?

EMBRACE THE UNKNOWN.

THROW OUT THE RULEBOOK!

TEAR UP THE CALENDAR!!

SHRED THE ROAD MAP!!!

Life is unexpected and constantly different.

Life is full of variety. Opportunity. Possibility. Adventure. Excitement.

Try something new.

Go somewhere new.

Meet someone new.

Push the boundaries!

Test the limits!

Break the rules!

And don't be afraid of anything!

There's a whole entire world out there and you have to see it all.

You don't want to come to the end of your life and only know the road you lived on.

Explore what's around the corner! Keep walking to the next turn...through the next turn...onto the next straightaway. Dance to the next bend. Skip around the twist. Choose a path at the fork. Cartwheel down the detour.

Don't stand on the sidelines.

Don't stare behind you and long for what is not yours.

Forget about your past. Your inhibitions. Your obstacles. Your physical, mental, emotional, psychological restraints.

Push ahead.

Keep moving forward.

Don't stop.

So life throws you a curve ball? Hit it as far as you can and then go race to pick it up. Now hit it as far as you can again and run to the next spot it lands. Hit it across the entire globe and don't stop until you've seen it all.

What's holding you back?

Say "Goodbye" to the street where you live.

Say "Hello" to the world out there.

Crumple your "to do" lists.

Burn your five, ten, twenty year plan.

JUST LIVE. AND LIVE ABUNDANTLY. LIVE ADVENTUROUSLY.

And dream bigger.

Fall Break

Isn't it funny how during fall break you suddenly drop all remembrance of your classes and the homework that is soon to be due? I had rehearsal tonight and when I saw my director, I had the sudden fear that hadn't turned something in for his class I am also taking. Fortunately, I didn't miss a deadline, but upon looking at my syllabi for my various classes, I realized that I have some pretty big projects coming up. Good thing I looked!!!

My hair was great today. I really, truly love my hair. Is that bad? It's just the perfect shade of chestnut, at the perfect length, with the perfect amount of layers. No matter what I do to it, it's cute. Today I went for the smooth, long, turned under look. I could see it waving in the wind as I approached glass doors that reflected like mirrors. Someone told me tonight, "Your hair is the most beautiful I've ever seen. I've been meaning to tell you that." Can I help it that I'm proud of my hair? It's really one of the things that I would never change about myself. Hence, why I have never colored it. Why fix what isn't broken? :P

The last two days I've only worked three hours each day. Thursday and Friday will be the same. I kind of like it that way. It's been nice and slow customer-wise, but the drama seems to be building between coworkers. Well, to be more precise, between employees and the invisible boss. You see, our boss works at a different branch, but they call everyday....a couple times a day. And we're not very fond of those phone calls. Granted, I don't really care. It amuses me. But these "older" ladies can't stand being under this seemingly irrational authority. This comes out in little spats between themselves or little "discussions" about our boss and her policies. Like I said, it amuses me. I do wish I had more hours this week because I need the money, but with my schedule I really can't.

Even though it's fall break, I'm taking a week long class for 1 credit (which is not cheap, let me tell you!) and I love it! It's Acting for Musical Theatre and is taught by Jeff Blumenkrantz. He's amazing. Very gay and very brilliant in his field. He seems to know everyone who's anyone in New York and has written a lot of songs and performed a lot. He picked out SUCH a great song for me. I love it. It's called "There's A World Out There" and it's from the newest version of Little Women. He's very encouraging and has great advice. I'm enjoying this class thoroughly. Money well spent.

Rehearsals are going well. I finally feel like I have a place in the department. I know people and they know me. I'm glad I am in such a big cast. It sure helps in the "meeting people" area. I'm excited to see what happens when we are able to get this show on its feet. Having the set, props, and costumes are really going to help me personally since my character is so set, prop, and costume driven. For now it's hard to simply imagine but I'm trying my best.

I've figured out that I can go a little over 300 miles on a full tank of gas which is somewhere around $30-35. Not that bad. It should cost less than $250 for the round trip home for the holidays. Much cheaper than a plane. Much longer than a plane, yes, but I'm excited to make the journey. I think I have enough music to sing to my windshield for 15 hours each way. Optimus Prime is excited about the trip, too.

On a random note, why is breakfast the most important meal of the day? I like to skip it. But lately I've been eating a sort of brunch and have found that I have more energy.

I don't work in the morning. I will either sleep in or wake up at my normal time and then go to the beach. We'll see. I miss the beach. It will probably be that option. :)

It's so green here. It makes me sad. It's October and it's all still green. Yesterday morning I found one of God's kisses for me: a red leaf sitting in on the ground in front of my store. I picked it up and kept it with me all day. How beautiful that God would give me a red leaf when I couldn't even find the tree it came from.

I still really want a guitar. I might snatch one when I go home. Watch out!

I'm Making My Own Life

I am officially making my own life.

I refuse to be stuck in a 9 to 5.

I refuse to let a rejection stop me.

I refuse to be hindered by obstacles.

There is nothing that will get in my way.

I am strong. I am creative. I am powerful. I believe in myself. And I believe in the most Powerful Being there is.

The world is mine to conquer.

I have everything I need to succeed inside of me.

If there are no opportunities, I will create them.

It's my time.

It's my life.

Nothing will hold me back.

I'm dreaming bigger than ever.

And bigger.

I am going to do what I want.

I am going to be what I want.

The world will know who I am.

I will be astonishing.

Get ready.

Here I come.

I Want A Guitar

I'm in grad school. I'm neither a child, nor an adult in the "real world." I have opportunities galore. I just have to take them.

Here are a few of the things I think are feasible to accomplish while balancing grad school, work, and extracurricular activities.

• Learn to play the guitar
• Write two full length plays that challenge church theatre as it is
• Write up to five songs
• Begin writing one or two of the books that are in my heart
• Get involved in a church
• Learn the basics of a foreign language
• Plan a trip abroad
• Pay off some debt
• Exercise regularly
• Audition for MFA programs
• Refine theatrical accents
• Find a way to sell jewelry
• Take up painting and sketching
  
• Consistently journal
• Knit (and finish) a scarf
• Read a few books on my reading list

Hmmm....I think that's good for now. I know there are other goals floating around in my head, but perhaps I shouldn't over extend myself.

Here's hoping I accomplish even a few of the above!!!!

Walking

Walking. An interesting concept.

Have you ever thought about it?

I decided that I needed to walk from one building to another without even really being conscious of it and suddenly my right foot took off, closely followed by my left. They continued this race through door, held open by a slightly charming young man, and into the computer lab where I currently am. Neither won. They both arrived at the same time. At the moment, the right foot is higher than the left, but that will change when my legs grow tired and stiff and I must re-cross them the other way.

Walking.

How do we do it?

Proud mothers and fathers cheer when their child takes their first steps. Is it really so great an accomplishment? Virtually everyone who is able walks. Some enjoy it more than others. Some long for the ability. Some wish the world was full of moving sidewalks. So why do they cheer?

Is walking inevitable? If Mom and Dad hadn't encouraged, coaxed, demonstrated, and forced my feet with their hands, would I still be the walker I am today?

Or must someone walk ahead of you in order for you to learn the way to do it?

Now take that thought and change it slightly.

Believing. Trusting. Having faith.

Have you ever thought about it?

Who are you walking ahead of that needs you there so they can learn how to believe?

The Eye of the Beholder

I've been thinking lately....

What is beauty?

They say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

What if no one is beholding you?

The though crossed my mind today that if I was loved by some handsome man, maybe I would feel beautiful then. Perhaps, though, then I would not believe him and think he was only "saying it." So maybe if some ugly man loved me, maybe then I'd feel beautiful. But then, could I really trust his taste? So how about an average looking man? Neither a hottie nor a nobody? Surely his opinion would be the least biased due to his own physical appearance. I don't know... I think he might still just say things to make me happy and I would have a hard time believing him.

Is that what beauty is?

I doubt it.

Who determines physical beauty?

I'm deciding it: the artist does. The artist is the one who can see beauty in ugliness, elegance in hideousness, and charm in disfigurement. The artist divines the diamond in the rough.

I think beauty and love ought to be completely unconnected. Never trust the flattering words of a lover. What do they know? Their glasses are rose colored and may be discarded at any moment.

Beauty is defined as being deeply satisfying to the mind, something excellent of its kind, or something extraordinary.

A painter looks for beauty in light, color, and angle. A writer creates beauty through black shapes on white paper. Theatre artists show beauty, and the other side of beauty, through live human beings and their interactions. A photographer captures a moment of beauty on film.

So what is this worry over physical beauty that I see in so many girls around me?

No matter what you look like, no matter your "defects", there is an Artist who created you and who every day calls you Beautiful. A Masterpiece. A Prized Possession.

If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, know that the Beholder can't take His eyes off of you!

Answered Prayers

What a wonderful day! I don't often "journal" my day but I must now.

Let me start with last night. I finished everything I needed to do in a timely fashion and, being tired, went to bed at 11. I woke up around 4:45, looked at the clock, and rejoiced that I still had a few hours to sleep. I arose at 8:45 and began my day completely refreshed--something I haven't felt in a while.

I printed out my resumes, dressed professionally, and then headed out to try to find a job. The first few places I went told me that their applications are actually online. I stopped in a little clothing boutique and filled out an application, but the manager is out of town for the week so perhaps I will hear from them next week.

While walking to Starbucks, though, I passed what seemed to be a cute little store. On a whim, I walked in "The Mole Hole." To my surprise, it was almost identical to the shop I had worked at a few years ago, "Hollyhock." The manager noticed me and asked if he could help me with anything. I said, "Well, I'm actually interested in an application for employment."

Instead of the application, though, he guided me to his office where he looked over my resume and interviewed me. He said that he thought I would fit in nicely there! He just wanted to check a few of my references and then he'd give me a call.

I decided to just go home since I had a possibility of a job and the other places I was looking at I could just apply for online. About a half an hour later, Dave, the manager, calls me and says, "I think you gave me a number for one of your relatives! Haha. Not really....but Judi loves you! She couldn't speak more highly of you. She kept praising and praising you. From what I've heard and from what I've seen just talking to you, I think you will do just fine. We'll see you next Thursday!"

Is that awesome or what??? They have very flexible hours, the pay is not that bad, and the atmosphere is full of beauty. Now are not the exact things I was praying for or what?? How great is our God????

In other news, my car that God provided me with last week is amazing. He and I get along so well. He's a 2002 Kia Optima. I've decided to name him Optimus Prime. Though he is silver and not red and blue, he seems to like his name quite a bit. I wouldn't be surprised at all to one day catch him transforming back into a car! :) It took quite a while to find the right name...but since I love how God transforms our lives, I figure giving my car a Transformer's name isn't a bad idea! To be sure, I've only seen the first movie once and that's all I know about them, but hey, it works for us. ;)

I get to go home tomorrow for about 4 1/2 days. I'm excited! The only downside is that it will be my last visit home until Christmas. But with rehearsals starting in a few weeks and my new job starting next week, the time will go quickly. Perhaps I'll hear from Sight and Sound next month, too!!! I sure hope so! Though part of me would like them to ask me to start next fall....I'm looking forward to the acting gig with the Virginia Symphony in January and February. I'd also like to finish my degree by next August as originally planned! I'm looking forward to celebrating my mom's birthday!!! I think I'm more excited for her to open her presents than she is excited to actually be getting them!!!! hehehe.

Okay, I think that's enough journaling about my day! I promise it won't happen again soon. I prefer whimsical thoughts to mundane diaries. :D

A Girl Can Dream, Right?

Rain pelts my window, the gentle thudding creating a rhythm of mystery and excitement. Anything can happen on a rainy day.

I stroll down the lane, grateful for my umbrella, breathing in the fresh scent of rain washed earth. Leaves quiver with too many raindrops; the street reflects landscapes in pools of collected water; gray sky threatens to pour for the next few hours.

Without warning, the wind picks up and suddenly my umbrella is of no use to me: the rain has defied gravity and is coming from all directions. To avoid being completely soaked through, I dash into the nearest storefront which happens to be a quaint little coffee shop I've never before seen, "Jane's Nook," a coffee shop designed entirely around Jane Austen books.

I explore this unfamiliar setting with fascinated eyes, drinking in the lace, embroidery, portraits, tea sets, and of course, bookshelves full of books by Jane Austen, about Jane Austen, and about her books. The menu is full of delightful items including "Elizabeth's Espresso," "Mansfield Park Mocha," and "Jane's Java."

I decide on "Harriet's Hot Chocolate" and a cranberry scone dedicated to Catherine Morland of Northanger Abbey and settle myself in a cozy chair near the front window. I select 'Sense and Sensibility' from the bookshelf, one of my favorites, and cast a glance around the room before opening its threadbare cover. A perfect fire glows in the miniature fireplace and instrumental music floats in the air, catching everyone in its spell.

The bell above the door dings and, to my surprise, in walks the spitting image of Mr. Darcy, at least the way I imagine Mr. Darcy looks. Quite a different version than the Kiera Knightly 'Pride and Prejudice' Mr. Darcy that one is not attracted to in the beginning but falls in love with by the end. No, this handsome fellow is breathtakingly perfect. Tall, dark hair, intense eyes, well-built, high brow, and dazzling smile. He orders Harriet's namesake as well and selects the scone from the exact tray from which I had chosen.

While waiting for his drink to be made, he strolls over to the bookshelf near which I am sitting and peers at the row of books. He straightens up with a slightly distressed look and begins to ask the girl behind the counter a question.

"Where is 'Sense and--'" His eye catches sight of the book in my hands and he stops. A smile breaks on his lips and he says, "Ah, I see. Good choice. My favorite."

"Mine, too," I admit. "Would you like read it? I can choose another."

"No, no," he says quickly. "You enjoy it. Or better yet, we both could."

"Oh?" I ask curiously.

"Would you allow me to read aloud to you?" His smooth voice is irresistable. Of course I won't say 'no'!

He scoots his chair closer to mine, sips his hot chocolate, opens the book, and begins.

"The family of Mr. Dashwood had long been settled in Sussex. Their estate was large . . . "

I settle in my chair and sigh quietly to myself. My hot chocolate warms my hands; this handsome stranger warms my heart.

The mysterious excitement of the rainy day was not in vain!!

If only this had actually happened....... :D

My Favorite Song From My Favorite Musical Movie

"It's a Great Big World" from The Harvey Girls.


I bought a bonnet to suit my face,
I had my petticoat trimmed with lace,
I looked at the mirror, around I twirled
And then I went out in the wide, wide world.
I dreamed of gentlemen I would meet,
I saw them all kneeling at my feet,
I can't understand it, my hair is all curled,
But my goodness me, it's a great big world.
And it's cold, cold, cold,
And we'll soon be old.
Alas and alack, it's a great big world.

I learned to sew and I learned to bake,
I even frosted an angel cake,
On Saturday evening, when folks dropped in,
My house was as neat as a brand new pin.
I thought by learning each social grace,
Some likely chap might forget my face,
I can't understand it, I've knitted and purled,
But my goodness me, it's a great big world.
And it's cold, cold, cold,
And we'll soon be old.
Alas and alack, it's a great big world.

I had no petticoat trimmed with lace,
My angel cake was a pure disgrace,
My face was my fortune, my mother said,
And my dancing slippers of bright, bright red.
A million miles I have danced, or more,
In hopes Prince Charming would cross the floor,
I can't understand it, I've waltzed and I've whirled,
But my goodness me it's a great big world.
And it's cold, cold, cold,
And we'll soon be old.

But I'll keep on knitting and doing it well,
My slippers are one thing I never will sell,
My petticoat's waiting because who can tell?
It's a great big world, it's a great big world.

Watch it! "It's A Great Big World"

Dysfunctional Fairytale

The following is the fairytale I told to Timmy tonight to help him fall asleep. *Clear throat*

Once upon a time, in a faraway land, lived a farmer. Now the farmer loved to rake. Whenever he was stressed, he would grab his rake and go outside and start raking the ground. He found it soothing.

One day, he was raking as usual when he struck something hard. He raked away the dirt and discovered---a treasure chest. He dug it up and opened the chest. Inside were jewels, crowns, gold, silver, pearls, coins, and jewelry. He was so rich! But what could he do about it?

"I can't tell my neighbors," he thought, "for they will kill me in my sleep and take my treasure. I can't tell my wife," he continued, "for she will poison my food, take the riches, and go marry a prince. I can't tell my animals," he moaned, "for they will stampede me to death, take the money, and go buy themselves a better farm. Who can I tell???"

He looked down at his trusted rake and said, "I can only tell you, Rake. You are my only true friend. If you promise not to tell anyone, I will buy you a golden handle."

Now the rake was pleased with this prospect, for what rake had a golden handle?? He decided to keep his mouth shut...or would have if he had a mouth.

So the farmer buried the treasure chest again and went home for dinner. Inside the farmhouse, his wife was making cabbage soup. The farmer hated cabbage soup, but he ate it because he knew his wife loved it. But she didn't actually love it. She hated it, too. But they were poor and cabbage soup is easy to make because all you have to do is boil the cabbage in some water, take the cabbage out, and ta-da! cabbage soup. Then you can use the cabbage again the next day and make more. It's a never ending supply of food.

They sat down to eat the soup, but the farmer was having trouble because he was so pleased about his discovery. He was smiling to himself so much that he started choking as he was holding back his laughter. He kept choking and coughing and laughing and choking and coughing and laughing and choking and coughing and laughing till his wife said, "What is the matter with you? Be careful you don't choke to death!" And that's exactly what happened. He was choking and coughing and laughing so much that he died right there at the table. His wife was naturally shocked, but not too disappointed for she had gotten married at 14 and was sick of him and their endless supply of cabbage soup. She didn't know what to do now, though, so she went outside and grabbed the rake. She started raking and thinking and raking and thinking in the exact spot her late husband had been earlier in the day.

Suddenly, she hit something hard and discovered the treasure chest. She opened it up and shouted with joy at all the jewels, crowns, gold, silver, pearls, coins, and jewelry. She quickly buried it again though because she didn't want anyone to know.

"If I tell my neighbors, they will surely kill me in my sleep and take the money. I can't tell my husband because he's already dead. If I tell the animals they will kill me and take the money and buy a better farm," she mused. She realized that it was time for chores to be done so she covered the treasure chest and told the rake, "If you keep your mouth shut about this, I will buy you a golden rake cover." The rake was ecstatic for who had ever heard of a golden rake cover?

The farmer's wife went into the barn to milk the cow, but the cow was used to the farmer milking her so she got spooked and reared up on her hind legs and trampled the farmer's wife. She lay dead in the barn and her husband lay dead at the kitchen table.

Meanwhile, a few days later, the farmer's wife's sister came by to check up on her sister. She hadn't heard from her in a few days and wanted to know why. She entered the house and found the dead farmer and was surprised, but slightly relieved for her sister. She went into the barn and found her dead sister and was shocked and angry. She figured out that the cow had killed her so she slaughtered the cow and ate it as punishment. It was the world's first hamburger.

It was so delicious that she went home to her husband, who was also a farmer....Farmer MacDonald to be exact....Old MacDonald had a farm, after all....E I E I O.....and she had him try the new meal.

"I call it the....the....Cow Sandwich!" she declared proudly.

"The Cow Sandwich???" he said, exasperated. "You can't call it that! No one will ever want to eat that. That sounds disgusting!"

"Well, what would you call it?" she said mockingly.

"I'd call it...I'd call it...the...the...the Hamburger!" he exclaimed.

"The hamburger????" she shouted. "But it's not a ham or a burg and it's definitely not an R! What are you thinking??"

But the name stuck. And they decided to sell them and opened a shop called McDonald's.

*****Pause in the story....this is the part where I sliced my finger open on a broken mug. If you would like to take a tiny break in reading now, that's totally fair because I had to take a tiny break in telling it while I washed my finger off and put on a bandaid. Of course, in the time it took you to read that, all of that would be completed now, so I guess the break is obsolete. Please continue reading.******

One day, a huge windstorm was attacking the kingdom and lifted the rusting, splintering, not golden rake in the air and slammed it down at the door of an old, ugly woman who lived in the village. Frightened by the sound, she opened the door and found the rake. She was very confused. How could a rake just land on her doorstep like that? She reached out and grabbed the handle just as the wind picked the rake and the women up and flew them over the village.

People ran to the windows and saw her and cried out, "A witch! A witch!!"

But a very smart child said, "Nooo. Everyone knows that witches fly on brooms, not rakes! That's just the old, ugly woman down the street."

"Oh," said everyone, relieved.

"Go back to your work," said the child.

So the rake and woman flew all the way to the field of the dead farmer. It landed right on the spot both he and his wife had dug up. Now the rake, supported by the wind, was standing up right and moving back and forth.

"What are you doing?" the woman asked the rake. "It's like you're trying to tell me something or write something in the sand."

The rake just kept scraping back and forth, trying to tell the woman to dig.

"Do you want me to dig right here?" she finally asked.

The rake didn't answer, of course, but looked a trifle happier. The woman used the rake to scrape away the dirt and found the treasure chest. She was so happy she danced with glee around it. A family passing by in their horse and buggy stopped and stared, utterly scared.

"A witch! A witch!!!" they cried.

But their very smart child said, "That isn't a witch! Everyone knows witches dance around cauldrons, not chests! Drive on, Horse!" And they drove on.

The witch---I mean, the old, ugly woman was so excited, but reasoned within herself and said, thinking outloud, "I can't tell my neighbors for they will surely kill me in my sleep. I don't have any family or livestock, so you, Rake, are the only person I can tell. I'm rich! What shall I do? I know! I will buy the kingdom!"

And she did. She went to the prince and gave him all the treasure and bought the kingdom. Then she made the prince her slave, but when he didn't like that, she turned him into a frog, because she was an old, ugly woman and she could do that. You see, she didn't want all the young, pretty girls to have a young, handsome man, so she turned him into a frog. That's why there are so few young, handsome men out there because all the old, ugly women are jealous and turn them into frogs so no one can have them.

Anyway...the old, ugly woman was very unhappy because with all her riches and power, she could not make herself young and beautiful again. She was so sad she cried herself to death. For real. She cried so much she drowned in her own tears.

The rake was the only one who knew she had died so it decided to sit down in the throne. When it did, it turned into a handsome king who became a very kind ruler. No one even missed the old, ugly woman. He was very handsome and very kind and very generous. He gave a golden rake to every family because every family should have a golden rake.

The kingdom lived in peace and happiness forever. And they all lived happily ever after.

The End.

Epilogue: At the conclusion of this story, Timmy so wisely asked, "What happened to Old MacDonald and the hamburgers?"

"They are still in existence today," I said. "Haven't you ever been to McDonald's???"


The End For Real. ;)

Broken Hearts

What is wrong with us girls?

Singleness can be the greatest thing ever and yet we break our hearts over and over again over the guy who broke it so long ago. Why?

We are created so emotionally. We cling to what makes us feel loved, special, safe, and happy. And unfortunately, sometimes we cling longer than we should.

We have to sift through so many frogs that it seems as though the real prince will never arrive. And then when someone who seems like he might be, we shy away because we're afraid he'll just be another frog.

All the memories of the good times are amplified and the bad ones diminished until we can't remember why it was a bad relationship. We hope with all our might that he will come riding in on a white horse and prove that we were wrong about him. But he won't. Because we weren't wrong about him. We just forget that sometimes.

This isn't a man bash. I've known many upstanding, Christian men who fit the "prince" bill. They just all happen to be with someone else.

The sad part is that it is hard for us princesses to wait for the prince because of the emotional attachments we still have with the frogs. Why isn't there a magic potion that will just make that go away?

My only solution for this kind of heartache is to literally lay it down before Christ, starve the attachment, and replace the memories. As harsh as all that sounds, that's exactly what I had to do. I am very happy to say that I now experience exquisite freedom and redemption! It took time...I'm not saying it won't take time...but it is worth it.

Because after all, we don't want to meet the prince and still be thinking about the frog! How unfair to the prince! We want to be ready for him and have a whole heart to give to him.

Broken heart? It will heal. Just let it. And start dreaming again. Now is the time to dream bigger!

Revenge...in the process

I went to the store today and stocked up on weapons of mass destruction--of cockroaches. I now have 18 cockroach traps around my bedroom and bathroom, two nightlights, and a new floor lamp. I needed the lamp anyway; my room was too dark being lit by a table lamp across the room. It will be a challenge learning to sleep with little lights on, but I prefer the discomfort of soft light rather than being invaded by unwelcome creatures of the night.

I think I may sleep soundly tonight. And if I don't, well...I will some night soon.

By the way, I remembered I have to write a monologue about a fear of mine. Oh yeah, I used my last entry. It pretty much sums it up. :)

Paranoia

I cannot sleep. I get close to it and then I feel something brush against my leg...who knows what it is, the air probably, but it causes me to leap off the couch (because I cannot trust my bed right now) and do a crazy little dance that assures me I'm fine.

I know they are out there. They are laughing at me. They are holding meetings on how to best torture me and it is working.

I thought I was okay, ready to sleep in spite of the light being on, when there it was. And I thought it was a legitimate insect or mini crustacean...but I must have been mistaken since I saw nothing.

It was 5 a.m. and I couldn't take it anymore. I jumped in the shower to scrub away all the imaginary bugs. Terrified, I pictured the floor crawling with the evil things, not a clear patch for me to step on. I whipped open the shower curtain and they disappeared.

I think I'm going crazy. I'm sitting on the couch wrapped in a blanket watching the Disney channel trying to fend off any invaders. The I one I want won't come---sleep. I need to sleep! But how can I when the second I enter the subconscious is the second I am overrun?

I have no idea what to do, either. I've thought about running to Wal-Mart to buy--I don't know what, but something to protect me and catch them. I've thought about going to the hospital and checking myself into the psych ward. I've thought about praying them away...but I can't close my eyes. I'm shaking I'm so paranoid!

I hate bugs. And I know I don't have it that bad. I'm in a house with only a few actually sighted bugs. It's all in my head.

Am I nuts?

My Life is a Horror Movie

After a lovely evening last night, I went to bed around 1:30. I settled in for a good night's sleep, debating whether I would wake up in the morning or afternoon. Fate choose for me.

About 4:49 a.m., I was dreaming something bizarre. I can't even remember the details anymore, but I remember someone in the dream saying, "Do you let them walk on your arm?" I had the sudden realization that this was something real and jolted awake. Sure enough, I felt the cold, wet, creepy legs of something crawling on my arm. Instantly wide awake, I grabbed at it with my other hand and recoiled, aware that I was grasping a cockroach. I jumped out of bed, tripped over stuff on the floor, and turned on the light. There it was, sitting smugly on my bed, a big, brown, disgusting cockroach. I shudder and repressed a scream. I looked at the clock. 4:50 a.m. Now I was angry. I reached for a heavy book; I was going to smash the living daylights out of him. As I swung the book down, though, he sprang from the bed and disappeared. I had no idea where he went. I just knew he was still lurking, ready to pounce on me as soon as the light was out. I shook all my blankets and pillows. I searched under the bed. I sifted through piles of papers and books and clothes. Nothing. I was staying in that room any longer.

Nearly sobbing from the trauma, I grabbed my comforter and extra pillow that I had not been using when my invader attacked, and ran downstairs, leaving the light on in my room. I flipped lights on in every first floor room before stepping into it, giving the disgusting creatures warning that I was there and if I saw them they were dead. Hopefully they scattered. Hopefully they weren't there to begin with. I drank a glass of water to calm myself and settled in on the couch. I needed my mother. Badly. But since she is 15 hours away, I put on "Little Women" instead. Next best thing.

I tried to sleep. I tossed and turned. I would get settled and then be convinced that something was on me and have to jump up all over again. I could just picture a whole army of the little demons waiting till I dozed off and then marching all over their new territory.

I woke after a fitful night at about 11, still petrified. A stray hair that brushed my arm was almost yanked out. A bead of sweat, nervously clinging to neck, dripped down and received a panicked attack. The blinking green light on my computer was almost annihilated. I live in terror of going to sleep tonight. I might stay on the couch again. Ugh. I feel so violated!

DEATH TO COCKROACHES.

Happiness

Happiness is a night by yourself, a good movie, great snacks, sparkling red Italian soda in a wine glass just because, and fun conversations with long distance friends.

That's all that needs to be said!

Though this website, if viewed with comedy in mind, can be quite entertaining as well:
Random Name Generator

My Date Night

I took myself on a date tonight. It was absolutely beautiful. I opened the door for me, drove me where I wanted to go, and paid for everything. So romantic.

I started out by dressing cutely...singing my heart out the whole time. I ordered a pizza from Papa Johns and then set out to get it. I chose the special they have running on all the commercials--the ones I've been salivating over all week: buy one large, two topping pizza and get a Cinnapie or Applepie pizza free. So I did! I opened that steaming pizza box and experiences a "Home Alone" moment: one pepperoni and bacon pizza ALL to myself. I ate one piece while driving down Virginia Beach Blvd. Finally at a red light, I reached over for the apple pie pizza. Opening the box was like smelling heaven. Oh it was so good! I couldn't stop at one piece! I had to eat two. I can taste it even now.

Licking my fingers clean, I pulled into the movie theatre parking lot. As I walked to the doors a light mist was falling, but instead of running to take cover, I lifted my face to embrace the mystery of a rain shower.

I'm sure I must have looked lonely or pathetic as I purchased my movie ticket, popcorn, and cherry Coke with no ice for one, but I was having a blast. An expensive blast, though. Let me tell you, I am no cheap date!

I walked into the nearly empty theatre and faced the dilemma of choosing a seat. Except for two in the last row, they were all open. So of course, I chose the center ones in the row right behind the aisle. Prime seating. Two couples and one lone girl came in eventually, as happy to see a nearly empty theatre as I was.

The lights dimmed slightly as the previews began to play. I'm such a sap; I cried at two of them. Previews! One was for "Amelia", the story of Amelia Earhart. From the 2 minutes of film, I was so moved by the ambition she had to fight for her dream. She didn't let any obstacle (and there were many!) stop her. That's the kind of person I want to be. The other preview was for "Fame", the re-make of the older movie. Kids with such talent and such passion. My heart went out to them as they pursue their dream with literally everything in them.

Isn't that what life should be about? The opportunity to dream as big as you possibly can and the chance to pursue it? I think it should be.

During the movie, I laughed and cried. It was so cute! I enjoyed myself very much.

I left the theatre on top of the world. I was (and am) so happy. I am a very good date.

I really love being by myself. I love having the independence to go and do whatever I want. I enjoy the little moments of savoring beauty or experiencing something new or returning a friendly smile. I like the feeling having a perfect stranger hold the door open gives me. I love dressing up for myself and no one else. It's so great to drive down the street, singing out, bouncing in my seat, and loving life.

I love being single, young, and alive.

Beauty From Pain

God has redeemed me in so many ways. He has healed my heart--all of it. I really can't think of a single thing that I am still aching over. I have no regrets, no haunting memories, no memories of mistakes that make me miserable.

I didn't think that day would ever come.

Timmy, Gerald, and I were driving around yesterday listening to music. As usual, Tim was our unofficial DJ. He ignored my request (maybe not a very good DJ!) for a particular song and instead played "Beauty From Pain" by Superchick. I warned him that if he played it I would cry, but he insisted, saying that it was a good song. Well, yes, I know this.

To my surprise though, my tears weren't my usual tears of hope for beauty to come from my pain...they were tears of joy because I have received that beauty that came from my pain.

Timmy laughed at me for crying and Gerald asked what caused them. "Is it because you have a lot of pain?" he asked. "No, actually," I tried to explain. "It is because my pain is gone and God has redeemed me."

And He has.

All that was lost has been restored. All that was wounded has been healed. All that was stolen has been returned. All that once hurt is now a memory free from bitterness. All that was dead now lives.

I am free! God has brought beauty from pain. I am now able to use what I have learned to help others, to soothe their aching souls, and to relate on an empathetic level. God's gift of forgiveness and redemption is beyond a doubt the greatest gift He could give.

"After all this has passed, I still will remain
After I've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today,
Someday I'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain."

I've cried my last and am able to hope again. Hope is a beautiful thing. Hope is the beauty that has stemmed from the pain.

Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him For the help of His countenance. Psalm 42:5

He's My Savior

I had a mini revelation this morning about the love of God.

I was listening to "He's My Savior" by Jaci Velasquez. The first few lyrics are:

He's the sunlight in my sky, He's the moon that shines at night He's the rainbow over me, the river running to the sea The music and the poetry, the beauty that my eyes can see Still His love means so much more to me

Now, anyone who knows me knows that I am head over heels in love with nature. Sunshine makes my day. I can't stop staring at the moon. A rainbow makes me happier than chocolate. I crave beauty; I thrive on beauty; I can't live without it. And yet, all of this pales in comparison with my love for God. He has given me/us so many gifts in this natural world that I can't stop praising Him.

With each sunset I say, "Oh good job, Lord. That one was gorgeous." Once, when I was a little girl, I exclaimed, "Oh Daddy! Look! The sky is pink!" My dad replied, "God made the sky pink just for you." So now, whenever that rosy color creeps into the sky, I think of the love of my Heavenly Father revealed to me through my earthly father.

I value these gifts of God so much. Everywhere I turn I see His love-art displayed. With His two hands He fashioned the mighty mountain range, the waving prairie, the delicate wings of the dragonflies, the strong oak, the fragile flower, the babbling brook, the delicious apple, and the soaring eagle. And you know what? He made it all for me! He made it all for you! He created a world of beauty to show us just how much He loves us. God Himself is beauty.

So what did I learn about God's love today?
#1-He loves me so much He created a world of wonder and beauty.
#2-He loves me so much more than His world of wonder and beauty.
#3-I love Him so much than this world He created for me.
#4-The easiest way to describe God and prove His presence is to point to the natural world.

It's hard to convince someone that God is here when He is invisible, but there is no denying His wondrous creation. And when you think that the God who took the time to create the tiniest bug and paint each stripe on each zebra took the time to create you, love you, and die for you, it's easy to see why I stand in such awe. What am I that He thinks about me? Who am I that He loves me? What have I done to deserve His sacrificial death? How can He love me so much that He conquered death...for me?

Lord I praise you for your endless love Your boundless grace I stand here amazed…

Rebecca St. James says it so well in her song God. Give it a listen. Click--> God

Dream

Dream big
Dream bigger
And bigger
Dream so big you can't imagine anymore
Dream far
Dream wide
And deep
Dream taller than the highest mountain
And lower than the deepest ocean
Longer than the rainbow
And fill that area with dreams
Dream wild
Dream free
And strong as the wind
Dream dreams more beautiful than the sunset
More fantastic than the first snowfall
Dream loud
Dream quiet
Just dream whatever you wish
Dream of tomorrow
Dream a hundred years from now
A thousand
Dream boldly
Dream magnificently
Dream more
And more
You need to have a dream
And now that you have a dream
Do it.

Things I Want To Do

• Visit each ocean
• Learn Russian
• Take more dance lessons
• Feel motivated to go running
• See each sunrise and sunset
• Earn an MA and an MFA and maybe a PhD
• Try new cheeses
• Sign autographs
• Write several books
• Wear beautiful gowns
• Have a pet fox
• Learn to sketch
• Travel to each continent...maybe excepting Antarctica
• Sky dive
• Preach
• Write a musical
• Ride in a hot air balloon
• Design a hairstyle
• Have a wishing well wish come true
• Swim with otters
• Sing loudly
• Collect sand from each Great Lake
  
• Buy myself expensive jewelry
• Meet all of my cousins
• Get in shape
• Take good photographs
• Tell stories around a campfire
• Unearth an ancient city
• Climb each species of climbable tree
• Walk around Lake Michigan
• Fly kites
• Create something beautiful
• Inspire someone to greatness
• Teach a child how to smile
• Fill a home with gladness
• 
• Knit a sweater or a pair of socks
• Visit Prince Edward Island
• Catch a bouquet
• Drive across the country
• Learn to drive manual
• Take a submarine ride
• Herd sheep for about a day
• Pick wildflowers in a foreign country
• Visit the Holy Land
• Walk in the footsteps of the apostles
• Climb a mountain in Alaska
• Run through the rain
• Tour famous cathedrals and monasteries
• Wear a crown/tiara all day for no reason
• Do the Cupid Shuffle with Kristen
• Memorize most of the Bible
• Read all the classics
• Perform as Belle, Mary Poppins, Ariel, Jane Eyre, Jo March, Clara, Wendy, Cathy, Lily, Anne, Janet Van DeGraff, and a lot of others!
• Shine a light that can't be extinguished
  

Felix the Cat

When I was a little girl, a couple of my uncles found a video at a garage sale they thought I would enjoy. They have been regretting that purchase ever since! It was a video of "Felix the Cat" short films from the 1930's. From the moment I received this amazing gift, I was in love! I watched it so often I can still recite it. Though that could be because I regularly watch both the original video and the new dvd I found with delight. My regular viewings drove my relatives crazy that summer but I have treasured their thoughtfulness ever since.

My favorite episode on the video was "Bold King Cole." It begins on a sunny day with Felix sitting in a blossoming tree playing his guitar singing a song about "Nature and Me." I like to fancy it is myself strumming the guitar, singing this love song to nature, saying that we "laugh and play and sing all day...Nature and me!"

Suddenly, his beautiful spring day is cut short when a vicious thunderstorm explodes upon him, a lightening bolt sawing a cloud in half letting the rain pour out. This lightening bolt seems to have a personal vendetta against Felix and chances him all over the country side. Perhaps, though, it was just a means to an end, for Felix runs for cover to the nearby castle where adventures galore await him.

Inside the castle, Bold King Cole is regaling his bored subjects with stories of his bravery. "I'm not afraid of anything!" he repeats. But when pounding is suddenly heard on the castle door, everyone, including him, dives for cover. The king's big head and little crown peers from the seat cushion on the throne as he commands someone to open the door. But alas, they are not as brave as he, so he goes to the door...on tiptoe. He opens the door and in blows Felix on a gust of wind. King Cole struggles to close the door and then turns to question Felix. As his questions turn to story telling, we see a wall full of past kings' portraits. They come to life in ghost form and discuss what they are going to do about their longwinded monarch. Their unanimous decision is to teach him a lesson. They crawl out of their paintings and shock Bold King Cole and Felix who run away hoping to escape. But there are a lot ghostly kings who have had enough of King Cole's bragging ways and they corner them.

They capture King Cole and march him downstairs to the dungeon singing, "Talk, talk, talk! Brag, brag, brag! Talking, talking, bragging, bragging.....You talk too much, you talk too much. You never shut up! You talk too much! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're talking, talking, talking, talking, talking all the time. You brag too much, you brag too much. You never shut up! You brag too much!" Poor Cole is terrified though he boasts he is never afraid. They strap him down and begin to pump all the hot air out of him until his robustness becomes a shriveled old man. They take the bag of hot air and turn it towards him, giving him a taste of his own medicine. He is tortured by the sound of his own voice, bragging on and on about embellished exploits. He cries out, "Take it away! I'll never do it again! Take it away!" The ghosts simply laugh at his plight.

Meanwhile, Felix cleverly escapes from his guard ghost, zapping him with lightning till he disappears. He opens the door to the dungeon and zaps the rest of the ghosts who try to flee, but fail. With his captors gone, King Cole slips out from under his restraints and inhales the air left in the sack returning him to his rotund self. He and Felix congratulate themselves on their victory singing, "We're not afraid of anything, we're not afraid at all!" Two mice find their way into two suits of armor and battle each other until they break apart. Felix and the king cower in a trunk until the battle is done. Bold King Cole crowns Felix with a mini crown and they applaud themselves yet again for not being afraid of "anything".


And that is the wonderful story that I will watch for the rest of my life and share with my kids. All thanks to my thoughtful uncles who bought me a movie. :)
Feel free to watch the entire episode below!!! Enjoy!

http://www.veoh.com

Watch Felix the cat Bold king cole in Funny Videos, Entertainment Videos, and Animation  |  View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com

Tribute to My Dad

I love nature. Why? My dad. He always pointed out the most beautiful aspects, the parts that the average person would completely miss: the shaft of sunlight falling in a glen of trees, the ripples of a creek rolling over a rock, the gentle buzzing of hummingbird, the curve of a branch or tree trunk, a newly sprouted vegetable in our garden, the haunting tone of a loon calling to another, the hushed thud of snow hitting the ground, the rhythm of waves crashing on the shore, the pinkness of a sunset created just for me. He taught me how to walk silently in the woods so we could creep up on the doe and her fawn or the gold finch and his lovebird. Of course, I usually scared them away, but for a brief moment all of us, my dad, the deer, and I, were breathing the same air, breath by breath.

But the love my dad really bequeathed to me was for butterflies. We would collect them in their teenage years--caterpillars--and created a new habitat for them in our aquarium. Tenderly feeding them each day with fresh rue and other leaves, we charted their growth from skinny tubes of insect to plump roly poly adults with bright yellow, green, white, and black stripes. Soon they would start spinning their cocoons on the branches and twigs we provided them. Bright green shells with gold dots sealed them away for the next week or so. We anxiously held our breath as the green became more and more sheer until it seemed as if a very thin film was all the enclosed the black and orange bulge within. If we were lucky, we were present for the next part, but more often than not, the final transformation took place overnight. In the morning, we would awaken to see a wet, exhausted butterfly at the bottom of the jar. It had struggled all night to break through its chrysalis, an individual process that could be fatal if someone helped it along. The newborn would flutter its wings violently, drying them off and building up strength. The vibrant orange of the monarch's wings brought me joy every time. Each wing design was so unique; no butterfly looked the same. Such intricate care had painted each one, a creativity only possessed by one Artist.

We had raised our kaleidoscope of butterflies and the fateful day had come: the day of letting them go.

It was so hard to see our friends leave us, but Dad patiently explained why they had to go. "They have new worlds to see. They were meant to fly. It would be cruel to keep them in a jar. Would you want to stay in a jar for your whole life?" No. No, I wouldn't. When he put it that way, I was eager to set them off on their new adventure.

We took the jar outside to the porch, gently set it down, carefully unscrewed the top, and waited. Nothing happened. Why weren't they leaving? Dad tenderly reached into the jar and pinched the wings of a butterfly. Without hurting it, he placed the butterfly on my outstretched finger, where it spread its wings and curiously explored my hand. He reached in for the next one, placing this one on Matt's head which made him restrain his giggles so as not to scare the butterfly away. With all of the butterflies somewhere on our person, we breathlessly waited to see what would happen. Suddenly, a light breeze lifted one up into the air. With new found freedom, it soared across the yard, circled around, and came back to say goodbye before disappearing over the house. Its friends, astounded at their fellow's courage, each caught the breeze in turn and embarked upon a new life.

We gazed in awe at the swirling bits of color, fancying we could see them even after they vanished, wishing they'd come back, knowing they never would. It was a bittersweet lesson, my dad taught us. You wait patiently for something to happen, experience the excitement and glory of it for a short while, and then seek a new adventure. And of course, that was also the joyful pain of being a parent, something we kids couldn't quite understand. For you love the ones you raise, but eventually you must let them go, too.

Now as a young woman realizing all of the implications of the lesson of the butterflies, I am in awe that God can use so many commonplace things to teach His children. For you see, I have dreams that I am raising oh, so tenderly, feeding them with hope and excitement and plans until they become plump and ready to transform into something beautiful. Some of them have already spread their wings and taken off, some are in the cocoon, while some are still crawling around as caterpillars. Every once in awhile I have to let one go for it is complete. The personal glory of success is short, though worthwhile. However, each success has been tenderly painted by the Artist who knows beauty well, and the glory that goes to Him is eternal. I know that one day I will look back on all of my dreams and see a kaleidoscope of color...the beautiful butterflies that have transformed my life into something spectacular and unique. I know this because of the lessons my dad taught me and continues to teach me. It always brings me a certain amount of joy to see a butterfly fluttering around on the breeze perhaps being used to teach someone else another one of God's truths.

"Yesterday's old cocoon will hatch a new butterfly, show me how to say goodbye to the old and welcome the new!" ~Say Goodbye, Scott Alan

"But these things I plan won't happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, do not despair, for these things will surely come to pass. Just be patient! They will not be overdue a single day!" ~Habakkuk 2:3